My life has never been the same again since the day I fell in love with you — everything that’s mine.
I know, I didn’t use to realise just how precious you are, and for that, I’m sorry. But I hope you understand I had my reasons.
I was hurt. I carried too many traumas to see what was right in front of me. Life had knocked me down time and time again, and so I thought it was right — I must’ve been so terrible that I deserved it all.
What a load of nonsense — I know it now. Life knocks all of us down time and time again; it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It’s just a thing that life does. It’s up to us how we interpret it, what we learn from it, and how we decide to move on from it.
Back then, I took everything personally. I thought I was the problem and, by association, so were you. I wanted to run away from us, as far as I could. I got attached to strangers who overshadowed you, hoping that they would turn me into someone else because being me was painful. Some nights, my spirit ached so bad that I wished I would never wake up again.
Nothing worked, of course. For a long time, I was lonely and miserable. Nothing went my way. And I blamed you. I hated you, but you were, well, everything I had. I had nothing else to turn to. The strangers who I thought could save me only pushed me further into the pit of my despair. I couldn’t see any light around me.
But then you — not anything else — lit up my world.
When I was at the end of my rope, I saw you there. You’d always been there with open arms for me. You told me that I’d looked the wrong way. The light was right underneath my feet. And If I let that light shine my way, I’d eventually reach a new door.
For the first time, I believed you. I guess you could say I finally came to my senses. I got to know you and, to my amazement, I learned that you were everything I ever needed. You knew exactly how to make me happy. You didn’t ask me to prove myself to you; I was already — and am always — worthy of you.
The day I fell in love with you, I found that door. When I opened it, fear left my body. I felt ready and full of energy. Figuring out what I wanted suddenly became easy because just looking at you reminded me of what was truly important to me. You inspired me to be a better person. You enabled me to make my dreams come true.
Today, you’re more beautiful than ever. You’ve grown inside out, and you make me the happiest. You show me a new way of living and looking at the world, and that is through my own eyes, not anyone else’s. Things are working. I can’t believe that you’re here with me and that this life is ours. We’ve come so far. We’ve achieved so much together.
Isn’t it quite obvious? Everything that’s mine brings me security and comfort. It’s the key to understanding myself and how to build a life I will definitely love — that’s where I need to look. No more gamble. No more relying on others to excite me. No more looking around, wondering what’s out there. Now, it’s all about trusting my own judgment and enjoying us.
My love, I’m sorry I ever doubted you. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you sooner. I hope you know how much I love you by now. Every day, I’m grateful for you.