Since young, I’ve always been a deep thinker and an emotional soul. I view things and people holistically. This has proved to be my strength but also my weakness. I have a bloody hard time letting go. I think too much, too critically. I’m also too sentimental, too hard and heavy on myself — for no good reason. Life has blessed me with many, many great things but more often than not, I end up framing my experiences in a negative way and making life tougher for myself.
Soon approaching 25, I’m just plain old-fashioned tired of this. I don’t want to be a moody Cancer, a terrified, misunderstood INFJ anymore. I call bullshit on all these good-vibe-killer stereotypes. I have my ups and downs for sure but at least I’m always authentic and it’s awesome. I’m a fun, loving, positive person and I prefer it this way. I don’t care about the past. I don’t care what I did. I don’t care if anyone thinks differently of me (especially those short-sighted exes). I’m light, happy, optimistic and hopeful. How? I just decided so.
If you’re an old, occasionally heavy soul like I was (before this article and the decision above), do the following:
Is the glass half-full or half-empty? Why is this even a question? It’s always half-full! The same with life or any experience in the past. Choose positivity – no questions asked. Made mistakes? Congratulations — valuable lessons learned! Did stupid, humiliating things? Hurt yourself? Oh yes, now you know yourself better and your future will be so much better for this! Broken heart? Someone left you? Awesome, they did you a favour and space is cleared for better things ahead. In fact, you should send a thank-you card to your guardian angel right now. Facing failure, rejection? What a big surprise — all is called being human! It’s all okay. If you’re still reading this, you’re fine.
See! Positivity is all around you. Make it a habit to look at life through this beautifully coloured lens. Why? Uh huh, why the hell not? Life’s already hard enough, people are already assholes enough, your mind is puzzling enough, so cut yourself some slack. Even if you think you’ve hit rock bottom, even if you’re convinced you couldn’t possibly sink any lower than where you’re right now, great news — it will only get better from here.
Keep pushing through
Right now things might be hard for all the right — or wrong — reasons. But it’s okay. Things will get better. Don’t waste time dwelling on the “why” — It’s not important anymore. What’s important is YOU and YOUR LIFE. Take it easy and keep moving forward. If you choose positivity, at this point you should have the mindset that the right things and people will come to you and your future is as bright as the morning summer sun. Anything can happen now. All the good things are coming your way — some already here. Just bare with this unpleasant feeling a little more, just a little more and your vision will be clear and you will come out one thousand times better.
Shine your light
You might not see it but your light is shining. It has never stopped. Use it to help others. Shift the focus on the world around you — they need you. Your positivity and wisdom and maturity is a gift to those around you so acknowledge it and don’t ever underestimate your strength. You’re stronger than you think you are. No one could’ve done this better than what you’re doing right now if they were to be you. You’ve done your best given the circumstances and your mental state and past experiences and upbringing. You’re doing so well and it shows!
Allow yourself to enjoy the good things in your life, unapologetically
I’m sure you’ve been exhausted from all the crap things that happened (which could’ve happened to anyone and are probably happening to lots of people so don’t think you’re in this alone). Let yourself feel what you got to feel and own your mess like a proud bitch but at the same time, fuck it. Make space for the good things in your life. Get high on all the awesome things that you already have and are overflowing into your life. You deserve all this. You deserve to be happy right now, today. You deserve to feel awesome. What? How could you be so happy when you just fucked that stupid thing up not long ago? When you’re not yet where you’re at in life? When you haven’t achieved anything you’re proud of? When you feel like a piece of shit? Oh yeah. So? Fuck that. Happiness is yours.
Laugh and love
Life is messy, humans are messy, there’s no big deal. Have self-compassion. Have fun. Be light. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Free your spirit. Start fresh again. Let ugly feelings wash over you. Let them go. Let them all go. Now think for yourself. Think for the people who love you. Spread your love. Have a laugh at yourself, at what you did, and whenever you could.