Before I say anything further, I just want to let you know that you’re not alone in this. There are millions of women out there who feel the same way as you do and it’s absolutely normal to feel so.
It’s normal to be insecure, to compare ourselves to others, to find faults with our body especially in this era of perfectly airbrushed images, of beauty contests and online fame. But it doesn’t mean we are meant to do all that, to be so harsh on ourselves for nothing.
Do you realise that you are seeing your body through everyone else’s eyes and you’re seeing yourself as your body?
You see your body through the eyes of those Instagram fitness girls, of Victoria Secret models, of movie stars, of all the boys you have been in love with and all the people who don’t matter to you. You measure yourself up to them, look at yourself imagining they’re judging you, assessing whether you’re good enough for them or not, and even worse, you think your body is you.
No. Your body is not you. You’re so much more than that. And you are not going to be like those fitness models even without their airbrushed perfectness. You’re not supposed to be. You don’t need to be. Why would you need to fit yourself into anyone else’s beauty standard instead of just yourself, of who you feel most authentic to be?
You should remember that everyone is born with a different size and shape, including those models you see in magazines. They were born with those sizes and shapes, those exact body images that make them suitable for presenting certain products and roles. It’s in their bone structures, in their genes, not something you could just turn into after exhaustive diets and exercises that might even harm you.
So please stop blaming, criticizing yourself so much. Give your precious body a break because she so deserves that. She has done a great job keeping you active, healthy, functional and, yes, alive. Shouldn’t it be your turn to take good care of her now?
I know it can be hard. It’s hard when there is this voice in our head that keeps seeing something wrong with us, that says we’re too much or too little but never just right and so we need to change.
But just for a moment, please try to turn it down. Look at yourself like you are a little kid who recognizes herself for the first time in the mirror, with the same kind of curiosity, of excitement, with no judgment, no comparison, no feeling like you’re not good enough.
Then ask yourself since when you started to let those cruel thoughts creeping inside your head, eating you away, torturing you, stopping you from realizing that you’re beautifully you no matter what.
Then let it all go. Give it no power over you. Realise that you’re beautifully you and that beauty shines through your smile, your kindness, your courage. Believe that you will be loved for exactly who you are. You will be accepted for this body, this face, and every single stretch mark.
You will be seen as more than your bone and flesh, more than anything the naked eyes could see. You will be felt from the heart by a soul that feels yours too. Because that’s what you deserve and what you will get as long as you let you be.
So please, free yourself.
Free yourself from beauty trends, from people’s opinions, from who you are not and will never have to be. Accept yourself for who you are and what you’ve got. Love and embrace every bit of it because you, not anyone else, are the one who defines you, who lets the world see what you have here. And that will not be restricted to just a body.
Finally, take as much time as you need. You’re doing just fine.