And honest with others too.
A logical explanation and a practical solution.
Let’s admit it — it’s hard to be a human in this modern age.
Because of some invisible force, you repeatedly choose to put yourself through the physical, mental, and emotional suffering, alone.
It took me 19 years to finally realize how important it is to be proud of myself.
It helps me build a better relationship with myself and manifest my dream life, and it can help you too.
Be careful — you might be trying in vain to achieve other people’s definitions of success.
Believe that you’re exactly where you need to be and you will get to where you want to be.
I would desperately try to do this, change that, hoping to earn the “beautiful” status as my naive mind was fed the belief that being beautiful meant being loved.
Love is waiting — for text messages, for phone calls, for invitations. Love is coming second to someone’s work, hobbies, and travels. Love is justifying their hurtful remarks and disrespectful behaviours, telling yourself religiously they didn’t really mean it.
Why would you judge people based on look if you know beauty is not your strong suit? Why would you judge people based on money if you don’t have much yourself?
I knew all my past struggles and mistakes and hangups and I brought them with me to the present day no matter how long before they had happened and regardless of whether I had resolved them. I subconsciously used them to define myself despite all the great progress I’d made to my life.
My lovers told me a lot of things — mostly things about myself that I didn’t realise I had or lacked thereof. Or things about themselves that I didn’t anticipate or could have anticipated but chose not to. Sometimes they were just passing comments that my lovers would very soon conveniently forget but somehow they got stuck at the back of my mind.
You double tap one photo, then two. You drop a friendly comment. A few minutes later, your phone screen lights up with a text message from him — Hey you! — as though you’re two good friends just catching up, no big deal.
It’s terrifying to have to make all the important decisions not knowing if they are the right ones. But it’s also liberating and wonderfully exciting because I get to make all the important decisions. I get to live my life the way I think is best for me and this is all what matters.
I’ve made bad decisions. I’ve been extremely irrational. I’ve done things that made absolutely no sense. And I realize for the most part, it was because I had no idea what my priorities and values were.
If you loved yourself, you would accept your past, your flaws and every wrong turn you take. You would give yourself the permission to be imperfect, to make mistakes, to get lost in a pair of ocean-blued eyes and live life to the fullest. If you loved yourself, you would forgive yourself.
Please stop blaming, criticizing yourself so much. Give your precious body a break because she so deserves that. She has done a great job keeping you active, healthy, functional and yes, alive.