You Have to Be Honest with Yourself About What You Need

You know, it’s okay to be single. It’s okay to be in love with someone who doesn’t love you back. It’s okay to work a job you only feel meh about. It’s okay to do whatever it is you do with your life.

But here’s the thing: Just because it’s okay to do something doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Many things are right, but many things can be wrong.

So, if you’re not okay with something in your life, you have to be honest with yourself about it.

Because, if not, it’ll turn into poison. Or cancer. It will kill you from the inside. Slowly.

In the short run, you won’t see the cost of your inaction. But in the long run, you will, and it can be too late.

You’re free to make any choices you want, but remember that the person who lives with their consequences is you. The shoes hurt, but no one knows that they hurt but you.

I have friends who are in relationships with guys who keep giving them excuses for why they don’t want to get married yet. Let me say this first: there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to get married.

But I know my friends do want to get married and have a family, preferably soon (they told me that.) I hear them justifying their boyfriends’ behaviours and making light of their own needs while quietly doubting themselves. It’s sad.

The reality is if they go with the flow, and the relationship doesn’t work out the way they want, they have many things to lose. They might end up in a place much different from where they are now. The things they want the most might feel painfully far-fetched.

I don’t give them any direct advice though. I don’t give direct advice unless someone asks me directly for advice. So I can only watch them living out their lives. In a way, it’s a good feeling. I don’t have to make any conclusions or judgments — I can let things unfold in front of my eyes.

I know the answer is definitely somewhere in the future; I’ll know at one point whether my judgment today is correct or not. Of course, I sincerely hope that I’m wrong. But, If I’m not, my friends only have themselves to blame.

My dear readers, I don’t want you to be like my friends in this example.

I want you to acknowledge your needs and keep an eye on your goals in every aspect of your life. I want you to be unapologetic. Sometimes that might mean making a difficult decision, but you must persevere.

You want to have fun? You want to cruise through life? Then you need to plant the right seeds. Now. The kind of seeds that are good investments — they bring you returns even in your sleep.

Not the kind that has serious opportunity costs and only sucks out your precious resources such as time and energy. Not like those guys who my friends are hoping would eventually commit to them.

Though, that also means if you’re genuinely happy to be with someone who doesn’t commit to you, or be on your own, you should own it. Live without pressure. Correct people when they get you wrong. Enjoy the experience.

If you’re stuck, whether emotionally or physically, know that there’s always a way out. Use your imagination. Break free of your limitations. Get to know yourself and have a plan to get what you want and need.

Ask for help if you need to. Keep going!