5 Reasons Why You Should Go No-Contact with Your Ex Right Now

Do you still cling to your ex? Whether it’s stalking them on social media or trying to hit them up with a casual “hi” every now and then. If you do, then you need to get familiar with the no-contact rule so you can move forward with your life.

Many people don’t realize the power of the no-contact rule. They think it’s okay to stay in touch after an abrupt breakup and try to heal together, then eventually move on. Well, in most cases, that won’t happen.

You’ll end up hurting even more, especially when your ex has moved on earlier than you. You can’t keep talking to them while seeing them having fun with their new partner on Instagram, can you?

That’s the worst feeling to have.

Here’s where the no-contact rule will help you lessen the pain. It’s hard to do, especially when it’s clear you haven’t moved on yet, but let’s take a look at the important reasons why you should do it:

1. It brings the focus back to yourself

When the breakup still feels fresh, your mind will have a hard time adjusting to the transition. This is simply because of all the memories you had with them and all the habits you build throughout the relationship.

I’ve known a friend who acts like they still “own” their ex. She’d call him and do everything to make him happy. Don’t do this. The fact that they are called an ex means whatever is happening in their life is no longer your business.

I know how tempting it is to still care about them. Once, I broke up with a guy who had major issues in his career life and felt pretty depressed. As much as I wanted to be there for him, I kept reminding myself that I needed to heal too.

So avoid going back to the old habits when you were still in a relationship with them and do everything you can to bring all the focus back into yourself.

2. You are no longer stuck in the past

Making the no-contact rule will make you stay present and deal with the pain instead of repeating those “what ifs” scenarios in your head over and over again.

Little hope about the future is the main thing you need when you just broke up, and you won’t get that if you keep talking to your ex. Your mind won’t recognize the different relationship status you currently have with them because you are still doing the same thing.

So to remove all of the blocks, you need to spend time with yourself and not care about their life anymore — at least until you are fully healed and moved on.

3. It helps you prioritize your mental health

People say you become a brand new person after a breakup, and I’ve seen it’s true for many people. The difference is whether or not they’ll use the opportunity to discover the new version of themselves.

That’s why it’s essential to take care of yourself first — being aware of your feelings and reflecting on your past relationship to see what went wrong. Then do something to solve it so you’ll become a better partner next time.

So by stop talking to your ex, you won’t have that space to think about their issues. You are 100% focus on your own struggles. I also notice it’s easier to be fully free in doing whatever I could to make myself happy again without seeing daily texts from my ex.

4. It fastens the healing process

Trying to move on from an ex is no joke, one of the hardest things you do in your life. People lose hope over the breakup, and their life fell apart. It happens all the time.

I remember even when I’ve made the no-contact rule, it still took me months to finally feel better and pick myself up. So you can imagine how hard it is to heal your broken heart while you are still closely chatting with them daily.

One main mistake people make when they refuse to make the no-contact rule is they think it’s rude. They feel guilty about cutting someone off after spending such a long time together. But this is where they end up being stuck.

I mean, who cares if your ex called you rude? You can’t keep pleasing someone who doesn’t want to make the relationship work in the first place. I’ve had an ex who said I wasn’t as nice as before because I refused to pick up their call. I remained undisturbed and never looked back.

5. It makes it easier for you to open up and find someone new

Nothing is more annoying than going on a date with someone who keeps talking about their ex. I know it sucks because I’ve been there. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. They claimed they moved on, yet 80% of conversations are about their ex.

But the moment they said their ex still comes to their house every other day made me want to look for an exit door as soon as possible. It’s clear they aren’t open up themselves to a new person yet, and you probably can guess already that I lost interest in going for a second date.

Don’t be that person. It only pushes new people who could’ve loved you better.

When you still in contact with your ex, it can be tempting to be still open up about everything. This includes the new person you are seeing, and sometimes it can get emotional. You end up comparing both of them, which of course, isn’t fair for the new person. You should only be with them for who they are.

Parting words

Here are practical things you can do to apply the no-contact rule with your ex:

  • Delete their number and unfollow them from your social media so you won’t see their life updates.

  • If you don’t want to delete the album photos on your phone, hide or move them somewhere to the place you can’t see in day-to-day life.

  • Remove all the belongings in your room that remind you of them. Either donate or throw them away but don’t keep them.

  • If they reach out aggressively, avoid replying back.

  • If you live in the same city, avoid going to the same place to reduce the chance you’ll bump into them.

  • Quit the Whatsapp/Facebook groups where you and your ex are in.

  • Ask your friends to never bring up about them again.

Being friends with your ex can happen. In fact, lots of people are doing it, and they seem to be cool about it afterward. But it’s not recommended when the breakup is still fresh. You need some space to find yourself again and finally feel better about the whole situation.

It’s true that time will heal everything, but the no-contact rule is for sure can help you to fasten the process, and maybe, by the time you feel like you already move on, you can befriend them with no strings attached.

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