You are exposed to people’s spotlights without seeing the painful journey that gets them there, and you want those spotlights for yourself, irrespective of who you are as a person and where you are on your own journey.
There are always some issues here and there, there will be times when I feel down and depressed, but at least now I know for a fact that I’m whole and I’m enough for myself and I’m committed to maintaining this healthy headspace regardless of where I am at in life.
Being present isn’t easy. Letting go of the familiarity and comfort of past experiences, even the bad ones, isn’t easy. When we walk head-straight and step into the unknown with both eyes wide-open, it can be nerve-wracking.
I wouldn’t have to worry about making bad decisions because a decision based on good core values will always serve me in the long run.
Our issues and my past issues rolled into a ball too ugly and heavy that it took me months and months to crawl out of it.
A lot of things are me and it’s not my fault. I’m just unlucky and also, really, really lucky in many ways.
I know I have changed. Lots of experiences have changed me. I’m not the person I was a year ago, or two years ago.
I know it hasn’t been easy because you think so much and feel so much. Your big, big heart always breaks faster than it heals.
I’m 25 now. And I’m starting to think that this is the best age to fuck things up. Because when else would you do it? You don’t want to do it at 35.
The guy who likes the chase is the guy who cares about feeding his ego more than getting to know you.
You have to be okay with who you are. You have to be so okay that you can switch back to the “I’m on my own” mode anytime and start over again, from a place of strength.
I’m tired of my own conditioned superficiality, of the social dance pre-first date, of being objectified, not necessarily sexually, but also as a prize to the male ego only because I have boobs and a vagina.
Sit with yourself because there are times no one and nothing could help you but you.
Sometimes the only way out is through.
I’m depressed. But I’m grateful I have writing because otherwise how else could I be so completely myself and feel understood even just by putting the words out there?
Now I don’t think that I need a boyfriend to be happy but as a well-rounded person who has other aspects of her life in order, I do care about having a good relationship.
My biggest takeaway from all this bullshit is that oxytocin is a real bitch. You can’t date like me.
I’m so grateful and hopeful. I’m proud of myself for the fact that even in the most stressful times, I’ve never stopped working on myself.
Please remember that for the flower to keep blossoming, you can’t cut it from its muddy roots.
How do you decide that being yourself is enough? Honestly? You just do.