5 Tips to Avoid Slipping into A Casual Relationship
Many women are scared of being called “crazy” or “needy”, so they act like they’re cool going with the flow even though they want a serious relationship.
Consequently, they find themselves in a casual situation that doesn’t meet their needs and they don’t know what to do.
Here’s an insight.
A man who calls you “crazy” is a man who lacks emotional intelligence; a man who calls you “needy” is a man who can’t meet your needs. None of these guys is right for you.
So, by speaking up honestly, you actually weed out the wrong guys and save yourself time. And, since they’re wrong, you do not have to care what they think of you — the right guy will think the world of you.
If you’re looking for a serious partner, here are 5 tips to avoid slipping into another casual relationship:
1. No blurry lines
Trust me on this: Men know the differences between a casual fling and a girlfriend, between “talking” and “seriously dating.”
If they don’t call you a girlfriend, don’t introduce you to their friends, or aren’t consistent, they know exactly what they’re doing. Don’t waste time with a man who doesn’t have a clear intention with you.
If at any point you don’t know what you’re doing with each other, ask them. Tell them you’re not comfortable with ambiguity. If they’re dismissive, you have your answer.
2. Say no to low-effort dates
A guy can tell you he’s looking for a serious relationship, yet never actually treats you like his girlfriend.
What can you do? Don’t let them get away with it. Don’t accept low-effort dates. Don’t make excuses for them.
If a guy has a romantic intention with you, he should ask you out to a public place that allows you to get to know each other and develop an attraction. That’s why having walk, coffee, or at-home dates on repeat is most likely a bad sign —tell them no.
3. Don’t lead with sexual attraction
Sexual compatibility is important, but rushing into sex can give off the wrong impression and set the wrong tone for the relationship.
You want to assess whether your new partner is sincere, compatible with you, and willing to invest their time and effort in you.
That’s why you should filter your dates first based on common values and life goals and spend at least the first few dates outside the home, doing activities that bring out their different personality traits.
Sexual attraction shouldn’t be the only or biggest reason you’re together.
4. DTR (“Define the relationship”) comes before sex
If you agree to have sex early on, it might be hard to say no when they ask you to come over next time. Before you know it, that is all you do with each other.
The solution for this is to make sure you have a mature conversation about exclusivity and relationship status before sex. If they’re not comfortable having this conversation with you, best believe they won’t be ready to handle your feelings and attachment after sex.
Note: If you want to stick to this rule, you have to show them you mean it, e.g. no home dates or sleepovers early on.
5. Treat your new partner like you would a long-time friend, not a disposable stranger
A lot of the time, people mirror the way you treat them.
If you call them up at the last minute, take hours to text them back, or leave right after sex, they will take it as a sign that you don’t want anything serious with them, and act the same way towards you.
So, approach every new date with the respect you’d have for your future husband. Hold the bar high for yourself and others. If they don’t respond the way you expect, you know they’re not on the same page as yours.
Parting words
A casual relationship can be costly for women, especially if it’s purely sexual.
You risk having complicated STDs, getting pregnant, or developing a one-sided emotional attachment, not to mention unlikely to experience sexual satisfaction. But modern dating culture (and patriarchy) isn’t exactly there to protect you.
That’s why it’s important that, as a woman, you need to watch out for yourself and take control of your love life. Keep advocating for your needs!
