In 2019, I turned my life around. Since then, I’ve been increasingly stable and happy.
2020 was still a bit rough.
I was on a work visa. My job sucked. My anxiety crept up on me now and again. Lockdowns happened. My husband and I were still new so there was that daunting uncertainty of the early stage of dating.
But life with him was so great — that much I knew. He took the best care of me and we moved in together. He helped me heal my anxiety and get through some serious family issues. Then he proposed to me at the end of 2020. During this year, I also went viral on Medium and made good money. I produced some of my best work.
In 2021, things were slowly falling into their place.
My relationship grew stronger. My husband’s career was going well and I finally got my permanent residency in the UK. It was a big moment. I’d waited 10 years for it. I immediately quit my sucky job and went freelance. At this point, I didn’t make crazy money with Medium anymore, but I started to get bylines in big publications. They paid me hundreds of pound to write an article! It was surreal. But it was also really hard.
Freelancing full-time is not for the faint of heart. Honestly, I hated it. I was so lonely and depressed. I questioned my self-worth all the time. It took ages to get paid. Building digital products was fun, but selling them was a pain. I made a few sales and got a few clients, it was really cool, but my mental health took a big hit.
So I looked for a corporate job again. I know, I should’ve given myself a bit more time, but I just had to do something. Before the end of 2021, I submitted an application for a creative job at a company I liked.
2022 has definitely been the best year of my life.
I sold my dating course. I had coaching clients. I continued to freelance for big publications. I got the job offer. My job is going well. I married the love of my life. I became a British citizen. At this point in my life, I really have nothing to complain about.
All the hard work I did back in 2019 all paid off.
On top of that, my relationship with my husband is the best investment I’ve made. It keeps on giving and it allows me to see far into my future. I have so much to look forward to. We now even have a cat. It’s wholesome, fun and blissful.
I have so much space and energy to do things I want. I have some stuff I need to work through in therapy regarding my father but, other than that, most of the time, I’m very relaxed and comfortable. I don’t have to worry about anything. I have everything I need.
So I was thinking… what’s now?
There are two things on my mind:
I spent most of my 20s exploring and taking care of my “mind.” Now it’s time for me to do the same for my home and my body.
I have a good head on my shoulder, but it’s the shoulder I need to work on. Literally!
I want my external life to reflect my inner life more. I want to get to know myself physically better (since I know myself very well mentally and emotionally.) I want more physical experiences of life. I want to be strong. Be present. Understand my surroundings. Pay more attention to things.
When I talked to my therapist yesterday, we discussed the idea that I’m in a transition period. It’s very true. Some things are right while some things are getting there. And there’s so much potential. I’m ready to move forward and define what’s next for me.
It’s time to fully embrace the woman I’m choosing to become. She deserves a simple, good, well-experienced life.