A Reminder that You Don’t Have to Reveal Everything about Yourself

In the era of interconnection and digitalisation, it’s become the norm to share every moment of our lives. There’s no shortage of videos and photos broadcasting the miniature details of someone’s days, their latest purchases, or even their most private moments.

I’m not here to judge. I do that sometimes too. I post photos and share stories of my life on Instagram and Facebook. I talk about my relationship and the things I do when I’m not writing. To some extent, it makes me feel good; I enjoy the interactions with new virtual friends— who knows one day we might get to meet in person? There’s something I can learn from them and something they can learn from me. It’s also good for my business.

But I’ve learned to detach myself from social media and external validation; there are things I keep only for myself since I don’t owe anyone my truths.

I’ve learned to appreciate the things I do even when no one knows I’m doing it, even when there isn’t anyone there to do it with me. I’ve learned to validate my own experiences and processed my traumas in my own time. I’ve learned to feel enough by myself. Like now. Here. Writing this article alone in my bedroom, listening to a lo-fi remix. I feel full.

I can’t remember where I first saw it, but I love the advice, “Save the best for yourself.”

It’s a reminder to prioritise myself and love myself like my life depends on it. It’s the permission to enjoy the good things in life.

If you follow my writing on Medium, you might already know that I used to struggle with many emotional issues and go through endless heartbreaks. One writer even asked me how I could write about exes without worrying they might read the articles. The thing is, I never really go into that much detail. No exes really know I wrote about them (not that I care if they do anyway.)

I probably have missed out on many viral articles because I keep all the juicy details to myself. But holding that space means allowing myself to change and grow and come back to my past experiences with new insights when I need to. Once you share something with the world — or even someone you know, you leave room for narratives, perspectives, and judgments at a fixed moment in time. It’s not mouldable anymore. It’s not really yours anymore. You deserve to have that space with yourself.

On the other hand, since I keep it to myself, only I know exactly how far I’ve come. It seems like I’ve just progressed through different stages of life like most people, but only I know truly what it means to have the security and stability I have now. I feel that sense of satisfaction deep in my soul. That’s the best I’ve saved for myself. And I will keep it that way.

Over time, I want to live more offline and run my business through my website and email instead of social media (with the exception of Youtube). I find the idea of feeding those platforms with fresh, free content every day absurd; it never stops. Maybe I’m getting old, but don’t even get me started on Tiktok — it can’t be good in the long run.

To me, the ultimate luxury is being immersed in the present and having that freedom to experience life to its fullest. These days, I started to do morning stretches and I love the stillness of the morning when I look out to our green garden. I thoroughly enjoy having this alone time with myself. I realise that I feel the best when I do something for the value it brings me instead of my ego.