Women are immensely powerful, and one of their oldest superpowers is their own sexuality.
But it’s hard to admit this as a woman because a woman’s sexuality is often used against her. She isn’t taught to feel powerful when it comes to sex; she’s taught to feel ashamed and like she has to pick between her sexuality and respect.
Luckily, the world is changing.
A woman now has many ways to claim her power; she can have agency in different aspects of her life. She can command respect in a board room with her intellect and presence, and she can tap into the power of her sexuality at her own disposal.
Sexual power is different from merely showing skin.
You don’t have to wear a swimsuit to feel sexually powerful.
It’s not about getting someone to have sex with you either. Honestly, it doesn’t take much for people to hook up these days.
Sexual power is about having agency over your own body and sexual expressions. It’s about owning your physical space and knowing and acting on what entices the senses. It has you in the driver’s seat. It’s a force that pulls people towards you without question.
But remember that you can’t rely solely on your sexuality as a woman in a society that still upholds patriarchal norms. The women who successfully did it have privileges most people don’t have and likely have to make sacrifices they don’t want to admit.
That’s why the best time to unleash your sexual power as a woman is after you’ve harnessed power in other areas of your life. You have to feel like a powerful human being before you can fully enjoy being a sexual being. Otherwise, it might be used against you and you’ll become vulnerable.
I’m not saying everyone has to be a sexual being. I’m saying if it’s right for you, you should explore it. It plays a significant role in romantic relationships as two people test their sexual compatibility. It’s oftentimes what’s missing when you’re perfectly desirable on paper yet can’t seem to make a relationship stick.
Here are 5 ways that will help you increase your sex appeal and use it to your advantage:
1. Authentic playfulness
Playfulness is the quality of being fun and lively. It’s found by many studies to be the key ingredient to a person’s attractiveness.
But you don’t have to pretend to be playful to appeal to a man. If you’re not feeling it, just be honest and move on. You don’t need to attract someone who doesn’t inspire you anyway.
The keyword is “authentic.” If you’re enjoying yourself, show it visibly. Make a joke; laugh at their joke; use your body language to convey your interest; participate in a game; let loose in the moment.
If being playful is about your energy and behaviours, you can increase your sex appeal through your appearance: presenting yourself in a way that draws desirable attention to yourself.
Don’t be afraid to wear clothes that accentuate your favourite body features— own your beauty. Red lipstick is a go-to option to stand out on a date night. When in doubt, go for a clean, polished look that puts comfort first.
3. A sense of mystery
Exuding a sense of mystery doesn’t mean you’re playing games or being dishonest. It means you’re selective about what information you give out to other people and when to do so. You’re in control of your story.
Someone you’ve just met doesn’t need — or hasn’t earned — to know everything about you. Taking time to reveal things about yourself or even keeping certain things to yourself means you have strong boundaries, and it certainly will keep people guessing.
The same can apply to your appearance. If you wear a low-cut top, then go for a long skirt, and vice versa. Say and show one thing at a time, and leave the rest to the imagination. If they’re around to get to know you more, they’ll get to know you more.
Making eye contact is a common way of conveying interest and attraction between men and women.
Once you’ve mastered the first 3 steps above, you can pull others towards you with a little action. Do it while you’re being playful. Make your date feel like the only person in the room. But don’t linger when the moment is over.
When you feel a bit more comfortable with your date and know that they’re attracted to you, make gentle body contact unpredictably.
After all, attractive people are confident. Their confidence is magnetic. People want to be around them and know about their lives.
So, whatever it is that you do, do it from a place of strength. Do it first for yourself. Don’t second guess or dwell on your past actions. You don’t have to look like a Hollywood star to have sexual power; you just need to look like you’re in touch with your body and mind.
Do your inner work.
The early stage of dating can be hard for many reasons. No matter what you do, there’s no guarantee that things will work out.
But there are many ways you can leave a lasting impression while enjoying yourself on the date, one of which is by tapping into your sexual power. Don’t worry about coming across as less self-respecting or you’re only looking for sex.
There’s a difference between leading only with sex and building sexual attraction in a budding romance. And what makes that difference is knowing that you’re attractive and powerful in many ways — your sex appeal is only a part of who you are and the best time to show it is while being present.