If you want to forget someone you love, I’m sorry you will never fully forget. You heart might stop yearning and your dreams no longer be haunted, then one day you might even be convinced you are done with missing and your wounds all healed. But deep down you know you can only wish it was true because if you see them now, if you have a chance, just a chance to love them like you’ve always wanted, you still cannot be sure you would give it up.
You will never forget someone you love and the love that’s born from sincerity and moments of truths. The good news is, you will learn to clean up your thoughts, ease up your feelings. Then, over time, you will start to believe your own lies and lies will become reality so long as you physically detach yourself from this person and make an effort to move on with your life. But it’s not the same as forgetting. You will live again, love again, but what was there will be right there where you’ve left it and sometimes it scares you.
It scares you because you don’t know how much power it has over you, especially when it’s a love that’s left undone, that remains a possibility and millions of what-ifs. It’s because you never have your own closure and so your heart can’t help but ponder on what could be. Maybe, after a while, this will not be too often, not so hard but every time you listen to a familiar song, walk down a familiar street or unexpectedly catch a glimpse of that familiar face, you would still hold your breath for a moment and in that brief moment, you’ll know you’ve never forgotten a thing.
You will never forget that person because the truth is, part of you has never really wanted to. And it’s not because you can’t live without them — you definitely can and rationally you know it’s even good to part ways. No. It’s hard to let go because they saw you in a way that you love most to be seen and it’s only them who could bring that part out from you while accepting you for all that you were. You don’t want to forget all the times you spent together, all the ways they made you feel, laughter or tears, pain or happiness. You want to carry it all with you no matter how deep it might cut because it’s what makes you you and this life worth living.
Trying to forget is exactly how you will never forget. And maybe you will never actually do for the rest of your life but it’s okay because you don’t have to. It’s all right to never forget, to always have a place for someone in your heart. It will be hard at first living with this and you might feel like there’s no way you can go on, struggling with thoughts and wishes that keep coming back to this one person. But it will get easier with time. You will learn to accept that it’s part of life and in life, you don’t need a happy ending to appreciate what you’ve got, how better of a person you’ve become.
One day as you look back, you will be glad you have ever met this person, have ever loved, have ever known what it’s like to love so much you need to forget them. You will be grateful for the memories, the lessons, the times that would otherwise have been wasted. You will be proud of how strong you have been, how capable you are of making the right decisions, of holding it all together and living a great life. The future is an unknown place but for now, you will keep your head up, believing wonderful things are awaiting you ahead.