Please Stop Saying Sorry

Please stop saying sorry for who you are, for your past, for the skeleton in the closet, for the baggage, for all the ways you’ve come to be. Please stop feeling sorry for yourself. Please stop selling yourself short. Please stop denying your own responsibilities for making yourself happy and getting what you want in life. Please stop using honesty as an excuse to dump all your ugly feelings on other people, expecting them to love you at your worst to be deserving of your best. It’s not cute. It’s childish. It’s stupid. Keep your inner working to yourself and try harder at showing your best because no one is going to do that for you. No one is going to dig through your crap to find your gold. It’s on you to tell the world of all the gold you’ve got.

If you fail today, accept it and do better next time. If you did things you know you shouldn’t have done, don’t internalise it. Don’t confuse momentary, emotionally-fuelled behaviours with defining traits. Forgive yourself. Don’t waste time analysing the past, trying to fix the wrongs in your head or constructing a narrative to give it closure. Closure is overrated. Narrative is unnecessary when your feelings are unreliable and your memory is biased. You don’t have to understand everything that happened to you; you don’t have to unwrap every emotional bubble right now right here. Give it some time. Give yourself a break. What’s done is done. Stop injecting your brain with trash.

It might be tempting to look back and villianise people to make it easy for yourself to move on. But don’t do this. Be an adult and conclude the ending simply as adults parting ways. It doesn’t always have to be a battle. Life just happens, sometimes circumstances get in the way, and people take their own turns. No one is out to hurt anyone. Everyone is just trying to do their best. So please stop victimising yourself and dramatising the goodbyes. Be an adult and own up to your parts, to your needs and wants, to your actual feelings and thoughts, not what you think you should do to please others and keep a harmonious front. Please stop saying sorry and start drawing boundaries and taking actions. Please stop imagining the worst. Please stop being so hard on yourself.

You’re free. You don’t have to have yourself defined by anyone you’re with. You’re not defined by anyone you’re with. You’re your own person. You’re adored and missed and thought of dearly just the same way you’re missing and thinking of others. But you don’t even need this. No one can take away anything from you by not wanting you or not thinking of you. The power people have over you is the power you give them. Reset it. Wind it back to zero. But don’t rush the healing process. It’s normal to miss what was, to feel a sense of loss. Just remember it will pass. The sad feelings will fade and blessings will reveal themselves. You’ll be grateful for the opportunities to understand yourself better and find out what you truly need. Be an adult and put the sentiments aside. Toughen up. Be positive. You’ll be fine. You’re on the right track. You’re closer and closer to the life you desire.

Please stop saying sorry for what happened. Please stop apologising for all the clumsy ways you handled pain. Please allow yourself that much. Please give yourself a second chance, many, many second chances. Please keep learning and prioritise self-care. It might be hard now but it’ll always get easier. Next time, it won’t even be a thing anymore. Next time, you’ll save these words for the good things that choose to stay.

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