A lesson from my 28th birthday
But there’s a caveat.
And have real, natural pleasure.
The becoming of a person — there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
I didn’t understand why women had a problem with men catcalling them until I got myself some self-worth.
Being present isn’t easy. Letting go of the familiarity and comfort of past experiences, even the bad ones, isn’t easy. When we walk head-straight and step into the unknown with both eyes wide-open, it can be nerve-wracking.
A lot of things are me and it’s not my fault. I’m just unlucky and also, really, really lucky in many ways.
I know I have changed. Lots of experiences have changed me. I’m not the person I was a year ago, or two years ago.
I’m tired of my own conditioned superficiality, of the social dance pre-first date, of being objectified, not necessarily sexually, but also as a prize to the male ego only because I have boobs and a vagina.
I often joke to myself that I have the thinking of a 40-year-old and obviously the biology of a 24-year-old and this is causing me lots of troubles.
People don’t love you for the emotional energy you put in the relationship; they love you for who you are.
I read about you yesterday and I burst into tears on the bus. You don’t know me. You will never know me. But I know you now and I’m listening to your playlist.
I hope you’ll love yourself enough to let go of what doesn’t serve you, the baggage that doesn’t define you any longer — ruthlessly.
Many times, I questioned whether London was the right place for me. I felt frustrated about not being able to live the life I had envisioned and touch other souls like how I wished mine would be touched.
Deep in your heart, you know that he’s not right for you and the possibility of a real relationship isn’t there.
What if the right people will stay regardless because they want to? What if I don’t have to do anything that forces me to compromise my own boundaries and standards all the time? What if I can just for once relax and honour my own perspective?
Sometimes it will feel hard because I don’t get to do what I like immediately but I must remember that it’s a step toward the life I want and I must persevere regardless.
If you loved yourself, you would accept your past, your flaws and every wrong turn you take. You would give yourself the permission to be imperfect, to make mistakes, to get lost in a pair of ocean-blued eyes and live life to the fullest. If you loved yourself, you would forgive yourself.
I didn’t contact you because the truth is, part of me was afraid that I might recklessly say more than I should.