3 Traits of A Secretly Selfish Man Who Doesn’t Want To Marry You

Finding the right man for your life can be a difficult task. Today in the age of sexual freedom, men are not interested in marriage as a century ago. You want to find your lovely part and create a family.

“A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other the guardian of his solitude, and shows him this confidence, the greatest in his power to bestow.”

— Rainer Maria Rilke in Forbes

Our World in Data report shows divorce increase and marriages are becoming less common.

While women dream about the white dress and a special day, men have a different point of view. Creating a family is important for both men and women, but many men prefer to avoid marriage at any cost.

If you’re dating a man and you want to marry him, check if he has signs of a single man who isn’t ready to propose to you.

1. He always puts his needs over yours

While we all might be egoistic sometimes, men seem to be more selfish. And it’s worth asking why it might happen.

When you want to decide whether your partner put his needs over yours, check his behavior. Analyze how much time you spend on each other’s needs.

“As soon as we’ve identified our needs, we empower ourselves with the ability to ask for them to be met.”

— The Chelsea Psychology Clinic

Let’s start from the basics. If you live together, what do you and your man do? When you wake up in the morning, you both use the bathroom. When it comes to breakfast, and you need to make your bed, what is his reaction?

If he is patient and helps you in your daily tasks, you can ensure that your man doesn’t put his needs over yours. He respects what you do and is ready to support you in all the small things you do. This is great news for you.

But what if not? What if he starts to say that you need to move faster, time goes, he wants to eat, and everything needs to be ready in just five minutes? What he puts his needs over yours?

If your partner thinks and behaves so, it’s time to talk and explain that he needs to re-think his mindset. Instead of telling you what to do, let’s experiment.

Agree that you’ll be him, and he becomes you for a week. You’ll behave as he does, and he needs to do all the things he thinks are simple. Your task is to show his behavior to himself, so he’ll understand what you meant before.

When your partner tries to do everything in under five minutes, he realizes how wrong he was. If your partner thinks that the idea to become you are stupid, and he is right anyway, it’s time for you to think seriously.

If he doesn’t care about your time, efforts, will he be ready to marry you and take responsibility to build a family?

It’s time to think whether your man is ready for you in small and big things or he wants to have you like an item near. The item that will serve his needs only.

2. Friends, parties, and a fun life are too important for him

Do you remember when you were in high school or university? It was time for parties, hanging with friends, and a lot of fun. Time goes, and you become an adult.

You get a job, rent an apartment, and have more responsibility. While you still hang out with your friends, this is already a different type of meeting. Sometimes people are totally different from the ones they used to be in school or university.

“Human beings are hard-wired to be social, with the desire and need to connect with others.”

— YEC Women in Forbes

Life goes by, and you found a man you want to marry in the future. While everything seems to be normal, you see behavior that is not relevant to your needs.

He hangout with friends for days without letting you know, drinking too much, and don’t remember where he was. He might not even warn you about upcoming events with his friends.

You see such behavior at the beginning of your relationship but hope that he’ll change and become more responsible. Days and months are going, but there are no improvements.

You have two solutions. First, you can sit together and talk about his behavior. Explain to him what demotivates you to continue your relationships.

Maybe he doesn’t even realize that his behavior is a problem for your relationships. What if he lived all the time like that, and this is just something he didn’t overcome because there was no need?

If he really cares about you and your feelings, he’ll try to change, and everything will be fine.

But if not, ask yourself do you want to be with this man type? He lives a life of fun and doesn’t want to change anything. If so, does it worth living like that together? Your future needs to be stable, and you deserve a man who’ll care about you.

3. He asks for open relationships or flirting with other woman

Your relationships are too important for you. Your man is yours, and he belongs to your heart. You imagine how wonderful it would be to marry your partner, have an amazing wedding.

When your dream world is full of beautiful pictures, you get a bomb proposal from your partner. Shall we have open relationships? You mean like what? Open relationships? Did I hear everything right?

“The non-monogamous encounters can range from casual and low-stakes to intimacy that is both emotionally and sexually long-term and loving.”

— Rebecca Coffey in Forbes

It comes so unexpectedly, and you don’t know how to react. You just imagined your wedding and married life, but your partner proposed open relationships.

Yes, you still are dating, but does it mean you both need to date others? While it might be OK for him, it doesn’t mean it should be OK for you.

I believe you’re interested in a man who’ll care about you only, but not other women.

Wait a minute. Other women. If he proposed open relationships, remember if he flirts with another woman in front of you and you thought what the hell it was?

Flirting is OK to start relationships, but not OK to continue this behavior in front of you. It’s like he is with you but thinking about another woman.

When a man proposes to you open relationships and flirting with another woman in front of you, it means he doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t need you. He thinks about you like a thing, but not a human.

Are you sure you need a man like that? Does he deserve your attention, love, and care?

Sometimes, women are ready to brave too much for love to be near to a man. But do these women get the same in response? Unfortunately no. If you don’t respect yourself, some man can use it in the wrong way.

Open relationships it’s definitely a red flag for your relationships. There is no responsibility, and marriage is out of your man’s goal anyway.

Final thoughts

If you want to marry your partner, but he doesn’t propose to you, it’s worth checking whether he has signs of a selfish man.

I have shared three reasons why your man probably won’t marry you and what selfish behavior causes this. If you detect one or all signs in your man, it’s time for you to take action. Start with a simple explanation and see if your man will change.

If your man truly loves you, he would do everything to make you happy. But if not, your man is selfish, and you need to think seriously about whether you need this man in your life.

Olha Bahaieva

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