In this era of social media, dating advice has become a shared commodity. Platforms like TikTok, a hub of bite-sized videos, have blossomed into a rich source of wisdom about relationships. The hashtag #datingadvice alone has amassed over 18.2 billion views, a testament to our collective desire for knowledge in the realm of love and relationships. This digital revolution has democratised access to relationship education, leading to a generation of daters who are more self-aware and skilled at spotting red flags.
However, this wealth of information has also led to an unexpected consequence: a perceived reduction in the pool of eligible prospects.
As we become more discerning, the number of people who meet our criteria may seem to dwindle. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and a sense of loss, as the attention and options we once had seem to diminish. It’s not uncommon for individuals to feel as though they’ve become worse at dating, rather than better.
It’s important to remember that this shift isn’t necessarily a negative one.
Becoming more selective in who we choose to date is a sign of growth and self-respect. It’s a testament to our understanding of our own needs and our refusal to settle for less.
Having fewer matches allows us to invest our time and energy wisely. Instead of spreading ourselves thin across multiple shallow interactions, we can focus on building a deep and genuine connection with a select few. This approach fosters intimacy and understanding, the foundations of a strong and lasting relationship.
When we have fewer, yet more quality matches, each date becomes more significant and has a higher chance of progressing further. It’s an opportunity to get to know someone on a deeper level, explore potential compatibility, and build a connection. This requires intentionality. It means showing up to each date with an open mind and heart, ready to engage in meaningful conversation and truly get to know the other person.
Being intentional in dating also means being present. It’s about focusing on the here and now, rather than getting caught up in what-ifs and future projections. It’s about listening to understand, not just to respond. It’s about showing genuine interest in the other person, their experiences, their dreams, and their fears.
Nevertheless, here are a few tips to help you stay confident and positive in the face of this challenge:
Reframe Your Perspective
Instead of viewing the smaller dating pool as a loss, see it as a sign of your growth.
You’re not losing options; you’re refining them.
It’s about recognising that you’re moving towards a more fulfilling dating experience, one that aligns with your values and desires.
It’s not about the quantity of potential partners, but the quality of the connections you form. It’s about understanding that the right person for you will align with your standards and values. It’s about realising that a smaller pool of potential partners doesn’t mean a lack of opportunities, but rather a more focused search for a meaningful connection.
Confidence comes from within.
Invest time in self-care and personal growth.
The more you love yourself, the less you’ll rely on external validation.
This means taking time each day to do things that make you happy, that relax you, that make you feel good about yourself. It could be as simple as reading a book, going for a walk, or treating yourself to your favourite meal.
The key is to cultivate a relationship with yourself that is just as nurturing and fulfilling as the one you seek with others.
It’s about understanding that your worth is not determined by whether or not you’re in a relationship. It’s about learning to love and accept yourself, flaws and all.
While it’s important to have standards, ensure they’re not limiting your opportunities.
Balance your newfound knowledge with an open heart and mind.
This doesn’t mean compromising on your values, but rather being open to the possibility that love can come in different forms and from unexpected places.
It’s about understanding that there’s no such thing as a perfect partner, and that everyone comes with their own set of strengths and weaknesses. It’s about being open to the idea that the right person for you might not fit the exact mold you had in mind, but they will complement you in ways you never expected.
Seek Quality, Not Quantity
A smaller dating pool doesn’t mean a lack of quality.
Remember, it’s about finding the right person, not just any person.
This is where the concept of ‘less is more’ comes into play. Having fewer but more meaningful matches allows you to focus your energy on building a deep and genuine connection.
It’s about quality interactions, not just a high number of matches. It’s about understanding that a meaningful relationship is built on a strong foundation of mutual respect, trust, and understanding, not just physical attraction.
Patience is Key
Good things take time. Don’t rush the process.
Your journey to love is not a race.
It’s a journey, and like all journeys, it requires patience.
It’s about enjoying the process, learning from each experience, and growing along the way. It’s about understanding that love can’t be forced, and that the right person will come along when the time is right. It’s about learning to be comfortable with being single, and understanding that being single is better than being in a relationship that doesn’t serve you.
After all, you’ve saved yourself a lot of time by being more selective—don’t spend it on stressing yourself out. Instead, invest that time in yourself. Have fun!
The world of dating has evolved dramatically with the advent of social media and online apps. While self-awareness and newly-acquired dating wisdom have led to a perceived decrease in options, it has also paved the way for more meaningful connections. By reframing our perspective, practicing self-love, and being intentional in our dating approach, we can navigate this new landscape with confidence and grace. Remember, in the quest for love, quality trumps quantity every time.