It might be easy to take off your clothes, have some fun then wake up the next day and walk away like nothing matters but it can be so damn difficult to simply look into someone’s eyes and tell them you miss them. Or even just sit next to them and say nothing at all. It all depends on who it is. Sometimes accidental touching with the right person — arms, hands, knees, shoulders, could feel even more intense than three hours of dirty sex with a hot one. What’s hotness for if it can only excite your body for those few hours but never more? Never your mind or your soul. Never your entire existence.
Surely, sex like that could satisfy you for a little while. Lust and a fair amount of romance could distract you for even longer. After all, you’re lonely and horny, you need human touch and you think this will be enough. However, you may quickly face disappointment as soon as you realise no sex or no lust could be compared to the high you would have when you do it with the right person. And it’s not even the right person as in the right person for you. It’s the right person because it’s the only person who could make you feel so good and never want to settle again.
If you’re lucky, this right person might want you the same way. Though, if you’re like most people out there, you have no choice but to accept a cruel reality that you will never know what it’s like to be adored by the object of your affection. Or to touch them in a way a man and a woman do each other. You will be wanting, longing but you never allow yourself to want too much because wanting too much is how you will lose them. You can’t lose them now. Not yet. You’re still not ready to give up those accidental touches that make you wonder if they ever think about you.
There is a time you actually think you want a relationship, a someone, anyone, 3 am moments that you could be spiritually naked and exchange all your secrets with this person. It turns out that you have always wanted a very specific someone who doesn’t necessarily become anything. You want 3 am moments, yes, but with this particular person only. In fact, 3 am or 3 pm doesn’t really matter because it’s them and so, day and night will be equally good. You just honestly don’t know why it must be them. You don’t know why their presence is like no others and you can’t stop fluttering no matter how hard you try.
That being said, now and then, as social beings, we all instinctively crave human touch, either with the right person or not, whether at that point in time we have such a person in our life. Sex is good fun, and sometimes a little bit of good fun is good enough. However, if it doesn’t feel like enough, if getting naked and on and off each other is only kind of good and then it sucks because when it’s all done, you’re left with this void inside of you that could only be filled by a specific someone, don’t do it. Don’t do it because from that moment on, it will only suck. Because you already know what you truly want and that’s just not it.
So, wait for it. Wait for the kind of touch that makes all efforts worth it. Wait till sex is not just kind of good but certainly great and absolutely amazing. Maybe even wait till you don’t have to go anywhere on an early Thursday morning, then Friday night you will meet again and get naked all over, spilling out dirty secrets and kinky fantasies. You will get drunk looking horrifyingly shit, but either when drunk or sober, beautiful or shit, nothing matters more than you being here together, skin on skin, laughing, enjoying every second of it. Wait till what you have is no less than the best, till you know for sure there’s no place else you would rather be.
Even if you keep having lots of sex that’s only kind of good but satisfying enough for the time being as you think, why not, don’t you give up on this wait. Don’t you give up because the person who sees you as you are, who wants you the same way, who makes sure they fuck you real good like you would do them any time, is waiting, looking for you too.