First of all, you do you. You’re the one to decide what to do with your life.
I’m simply here to offer you some reasons why you should not have casual sex while looking to get married.
I get it.
Looking for a serious relationship can feel like an endless task. You can’t control the outcome completely as there’s another person involved. Luck plays a big part in it.
It’s inevitable that you will feel lonely and miss physical touch after being single for a long time.
When someone offers to have casual sex with you, it’s tempting.
You’ll feel good for a night, and it’s enough for now.
What is there to lose? You think.
No one will know and you will just get into a relationship when you find one, you reason.
It’ll just be like drinking water when thirsty, you imagine.
But let me tell you why it’s a bad idea.
First of all, if you’re a woman, casual sex is never that casual.
Brain chemicals can make you fall in love with a stranger.
You might feel bad about yourself afterward.
You’ll risk catching STDs and getting pregnant.
There’s no guarantee that you’ll actually have good sex. A stranger won’t know how to please your body.
You might feel used instead of being desired.
Especially, if you have an anxious attachment style, casual sex will do you no good.
You’ll likely think about it non-stop. You’ll question yourself. You’ll wish you had never done it.
Last but not least, it will affect your vibration.
Hear me out.
There’s this thing called the law of vibration.
It means that everything moves and nothing at rest.
Thinking something into reality happens when your thoughts set off a chain of reactions that change the vibration of your body, which interacts with the vibrations of the things around you and determines your experiences.
This vibration sends a message about your state of being.
You attract things with similar vibrations as yours.
Your vibrations are influenced by your lifestyle, your thoughts, the food you eat, your hobbies, and so on.
Increasing your vibrations is what people usually call “leveling up.”
As a result, you’ll attract a higher caliber of things and people into your life.
Casual sex will not give you the kind of vibration you need to look for a quality serious relationship.
It will distract you and blind you from seeing the people who are suitable long-term partners for you.
It will shape your expectations of a relationship and even how you interact with a partner and might ruin your chance when meeting a solid one.
There’s a high cost and little reward.
In my course Empowered Dating, I teach women how to vet a partner properly (a detailed and long read!) and present themselves as high value.
I list 3 important factors:
Principles. Having principles means having beliefs (or rules) that guide you and keep you grounded. It shows integrity and reliability. It signals trustworthiness. You’re not easily tempted. You don’t get carried away. You don’t give in to distractions and pressure.
Boundaries. People with boundaries are the people who love and respect themselves, and they know how to take care of themselves.
Self-investment. High-value people have good things going on for them, which is how they can contribute to a relationship.
So if you want a quality serious relationship, stick to your goal.
Date with intention, vet/assess, move on, and repeat.
Keep your vibration high.
Don’t stand in your own way.
Sex is not an essential need. You won’t die without sex today.
You don’t have to settle for casual sex.
Once you find a partner who is right for you, you can have all the sex you want and it’ll feel like the best sex you’ll ever have.
You deserve to have the full experience.