Women, Please Prioritise Being Respected Over Being Liked

When a man doesn’t respect you — or doesn’t respect women in general, he doesn’t care about your feelings, wishes, or rights. He does what he wants, and he expects that you’ll let him do so even if it’s at your own expense.

But he won’t tell you that. He’ll just do his things and disregard you because, in his mind, by default, his needs are far more important than yours, while you’ll be left with two choices: do what he wants or lose his favour.

As a woman who has been socialised to be agreeable in a man’s world, you’ll feel inclined to do what pleases him.

You’ll want him to like you even when you don’t know if you like him all that much. You’ll feel reluctant to call him out because you’re worried it might cause a conflict and he might even turn aggressive towards you.

Or, worse, you’ll start to question yourself because people around you dismiss your feelings, telling you you’re overreacting and that “boys will be boys.”

And it isn’t only true in the context of dating. It’s also applicable to any man in your life, especially the older men. The power imbalance will make it even harder for you to stand up for yourself and challenge the status quo.

Here’s the truth.

The more you care about being liked by a man, the less he’ll respect you and actually like you.

But that’s beside the point. The point is you do not need to be liked by a man.

You need them to respect you — demand it. And if they can’t do this very basic human thing, then they don’t deserve to be in your life, whoever they are — even if they’re your own father or brother.

Male approval is NOT more important than YOUR APPROVAL.

You get to look at a man’s behaviours and judge him. You get to be the default in your own life. You get to say no to men who don’t suit you and pick those who can meet your standards and needs right where you are.

Calling out disrespectful behaviors might lead to friction, but it is never wrong of you to do so. No matter how small the matter is, you owe it to yourself to make it right. No one should tell you how to feel or what to think about something that is done to you — you have all the say on that.

If a man reacts poorly after being called out, it’s entirely on him. He might get defensive, angry, or even threaten to end the relationship with you. Remember that if it happens, what’s at stake is your well-being vs. a relationship with a man who doesn’t respect you or even has low emotional intelligence. It should be a no-brainer to let this man be and be gone.

If you’re in the early stage of dating, and you don’t know what to do in any situation, always choose respect for yourself instead of being liked.

It’ll go a long way.

People can only truly like you if they respect you — and you can only truly feel good about yourself if you’ve earned your own respect. If someone likes you without respecting you, they only like that you agree with them. When you stop agreeing with them, they’ll stop liking you. It means nothing.

More importantly, every time you call out a disrespectful man and prioritise your needs as a woman, you’re helping dismantle patriarchy. Loving and genuinely liking yourself can be revolutionary.

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