It’s Liberating to Be Able to Love A Man Wholeheartedly

Friends and readers often share with me about their dating situations and ask me to help analyse them. For each case, there’ll be a different answer; but one thing I see very clearly is that those relationships are not 100%.

The people in it, for whatever reason, are not committed.

They might claim they love and care for each other, but there’s something not quite there. Their minds and hearts are not in the same place.

Oftentimes, there’s one person in the equation ready to go 100% while the other person fluctuates anything between 50% and 99% (assuming you have to be at least 50% to even be dating each other!) Some people can tolerate a less than 100% partner and still end up in perfectly functional marriages that meet most of their needs.

Not all relationships and marriages are 100%; at the end of the day, it’s up to each of us to decide what kind of relationship we want and what we think will work for us.

I’m definitely a 100% type of person.

I can’t be in a relationship unless I’m 100% in, and I had prepared to be single forever if I never found the relationship I wanted.

Though, in the past, I dated many guys who were far less than 100%. I was okay with it because my broken relationship with my father had made me normalise not being a man’s 100% and I wasn’t in a place to think about “forever” either. Luckily, that changed when I went to therapy.

I’m now engaged to be married soon to the love of my life.

And I can’t appreciate enough how fully committed he is to me and our relationship.

I thought, when he proposed to me, it was a heightened moment of our love. But, to my pleasant surprise, I find myself falling more and more in love with him each day as I observe the person he is and the way he demonstrates his 100% for me.

It’s liberating and enriching to be able to love a man wholeheartedly.

There’s nothing quite like feeling deeply understood and loved by another human being and being able to build a life together with him. You can be fully yourself, freely expressing your feelings and emotions.

These days, people love to ask us about our wedding planning. As we were chatting in a small group answering questions about our progress so far, one person expressed their stance against marriage and weddings. My partner and I made eye contact with each other and took turns to express our shared views while building on each other’s responses seamlessly.

It was a beautiful moment for me. My partner’s brown eyes seemed to be glowing in the sun as he spoke, looking dearly at me. During that moment, it struck me how happy I was to be marrying him, my best friend, my true soulmate, who sees the world the same way as I do. My favourite part was reflecting on the day together on the drive home; it completed the experience.

A healthy, reciprocal, wholehearted love makes it easy for you to make decisions and plan your future.

It turns mundane moments into endearing memories. It makes daily life fun and meaningful.

A fully committed man will always find ways to make your life easier, better, and happier.

He won’t make you question his intention and level of interest.

Some people think it’s cool to be the “cool girl”? What’s cool is not having anxiety and stress and damaged self-esteem from having to constantly wonder where you stand with someone you care about.

I know it because when I was with the less than 100% guys, the mental gymnastics I had to do to make sense of their behaviours, fill in the blank for them, or just stay sane was immense. I could’ve spent that time improving the quality of my life instead of getting dragged through the mud and right to my therapist’s door.

That said, to be able to give and receive healthy, wholehearted love, you’ll need to make sure you’re emotionally available and know what you want.

You’ll need to maintain your boundaries and standards as the right relationship will surely satisfy them. You’ll need to believe that such love even exists and there’s someone out there who can give it to you. You’ll need to choose it over other easy options.

Start manifesting it today. Don’t settle for less if you want more.