A lot of things are me and it’s not my fault. I’m just unlucky and also, really, really lucky in many ways.
I’m tired of my own conditioned superficiality, of the social dance pre-first date, of being objectified, not necessarily sexually, but also as a prize to the male ego only because I have boobs and a vagina.
Life back home felt like an enormous burden filled with problematic thoughts and issues that weren’t actually a problem at all.
Please remember that for the flower to keep blossoming, you can’t cut it from its muddy roots.
To my younger self, know that everything will be okay because I am here telling you so.
I might be a wreck but I’m still smart. I know I shouldn’t have to rely on having you to feel good about myself.
Letting you go is so easy when I accept true love into my life.
I’m always happy to see your name popping up on my lock screen. But I don’t need you to text me. I don’t need you to routinely send me the good morning and good night messages.
If there was a visual representation or definition of what a Bad Boy was supposed to be, it was him! You didn’t need to get to know him better, he so reeked of “BAD” you could smell it from a mile away.
When someone decides you’re not the one for them, don’t argue with them. Don’t try to prove to them they’re wrong. Tell them you understand. Tell them you respect their decision.
What if the right people will stay regardless because they want to? What if I don’t have to do anything that forces me to compromise my own boundaries and standards all the time? What if I can just for once relax and honour my own perspective?
My partner isn’t my opponent. A relationship isn’t a game. He’s on my team. He’s to be trusted. He deserves the benefits of the doubt, understanding, and honest discussion.
Honestly, I blame London. This city life is a lonely, isolating one. I came here cloud-shaped, now I’m all geometric. I didn’t have a choice. I had to do what I did to survive, to not get hurt so easily, so deeply, so frequently anymore.
I’m not asking anything from you. I’m not going to bother you. I just need to ease the pain to keep on going. So, can I just be selfish for a moment and say the things I shouldn’t be saying…?
Wait for the love that doesn’t walk away when times get hard, one that is strong enough to know that love isn’t always easy and doesn’t expect it to be either.
Today, in this very city, I feel alive, blessed and loved again. I think, if it was not magic, it could only be God watching over us, making sure after a year of parting, we find our way back to each other.
My soul doesn’t understand that you’re gone now. She doesn’t understand reasons and life complications and distance and people saying goodbyes to each other.
Before you, I believed I was afraid of commitment. I tried online dating for a while, swiping into frustration and deleting my profiles after three days of connecting with guys and only occasionally talking.
My lovers told me a lot of things — mostly things about myself that I didn’t realise I had or lacked thereof. Or things about themselves that I didn’t anticipate or could have anticipated but chose not to. Sometimes they were just passing comments that my lovers would very soon conveniently forget but somehow they got stuck at the back of my mind.
I don’t see relationships as an end-goal or a measure of my self-worth. Speaking of which, I don’t bring my self-worth into the mix when a relationship succeeds or fails. I know the outcome of a relationship is down to our compatibility, not worthiness — worthiness is irrelevant.