By Anggun Bawi
Feeling like you are walking on an eggshell? It seems like you are always on the blame when unpleasant things happen in your relationship.
I know how sucks it is. Like, for real…
Though I didn’t regret the relationship, I wish I could break it off sooner and learned that I don’t have to constantly feel bad about myself so that he could feel better about himself.
If you aren’t sure yet or you think that certain traits are normal, here are some tips for you to find out whether he’s worth your time or not:
1. He doesn’t know what he wants
Nothing feels worse than dating a man who doesn’t know what the heck he wants in a relationship — unless if you are okay with it and not looking for something serious.
But in retrospect, if a man can’t figure out whether he is committed to you or not after a long period then you will never be his priority.
The other problem with this is that it’s hard for him to take a big decision in life. Eventually, you’ll feel like you are just hanging there waiting for him to make a decision about your relationship.
2. He changes his mind quickly
One day he says you are all that he needs, the next day he wants to take a break from you to ‘re-evaluate’ your relationship.
This one right here is probably the most obvious one when you date an immature man. While it’s okay for him to change his mind within seconds, he’ll get upset when you are doing the same.
While it’s true that the environment can change our minds and mindset, at the same time you can’t let people decide things for you.
Immature men tend to get affected easily by other people’s opinions and as result, your relationship with him will never be stable.
3. He doesn’t genuinely want to know your goals and ambitions
When you are dating an immature man, you wouldn’t get him genuinely excited to listen to your big goals and ambitions. And you shouldn’t expect him to. Why? Because in his mind, life has only revolved around him and him only.
No matter how rich or handsome he is, if he can’t be genuinely getting to know you, what’s your dreams, and what do you want to do in life then it’s definitely not worth it.
4. He is full of empty promises
Immature men like to play around with words and give the girls empty promises. I know how hard it is sometimes to see through their nonsense but if you are being brutally honest with yourself, you know you deserve better than that.
In my early twenties, I used to just sit there, hoping he’d do what he promised me to do. I didn’t know that if a man loves you he’ll just show it with actions. and it’s clear for you to see it, you don’t have to play the guessing game.
5. He makes you feel like you have to babysit his feelings
One time when we were in the middle of arguments, he snapped saying “can you not say things like that? it hurts my feelings”
For a sec I was like, “what the heck? I was talking in well-mannered and thoughtful words. The problem with this is you might think it’s on you.
It took so long for me to realize that there’s nothing wrong with the words I use and I express my feelings in the right way by communicating about it respectfully.
However, this wouldn’t be the case if you are dating an immature man. You have to be extra careful with what you want to say because you don’t want to ‘hurt’ his feelings. Meanwhile, he doesn’t care much with the words he’s using towards you. Because it’s all always about him, remember?
Things like this might seem small and insignificant, but if this happens long enough, you’ll soon lose yourself or worse, don’t even know how to express your feelings anymore.
Letting go is hard but when the heartbreak outweighs the happiness you get out of your relationship, then what’s the point?
It took me a while to figure out how emotionally draining the relationship was and I felt all alone, even though technically I had him.
If you are currently in this situation, I just want you to know that in order to get a healthier relationship, you have to let go of the bad one. There’s no other way.
Shannon Thomas have said it better,
“A healthy relationship is a feast of affection/giving for both people; not one receiving crumbs and trying to convince themselves it’s enough.”