Have you ever stopped for a second and analyzed all the friends you have in your life? If you haven’t, then you should.
I used to think the more “friends” I got, the better. I went hanging out with anyone and made friends with whoever wants to be my friends. No filter, no standards. And when I hit 25, I was stuck surrounded by toxic friends who did nothing but dragged me down the rabbit hole.
Over the past two years, I went hard to filter people and keep those who care as much as I do to them. No more “friends” who were only there when I was at the top or those who drained my energy.
These are five types of friends who I wholeheartedly keep in my life and will do anything to nurture the friendships because each of them brings a different purpose in my life:
The one who supports you no matter what
Let’s be honest; it’s so rare nowadays to find a friend like this. With how shallow social media is and how big it affects each of us, it’s only “normal” that people change the way they see us and eventually withdraw.
So if you have one, considered you are lucky.
This type of friend will always be there for you when no one believes in you. They give you a pep talk when you feel low, and it doesn’t matter if you are taking the weirdest career path in your life; you know you can count on them for mental support.
Personally, this type of person is my main support system in everything I do; relationships, career, or even family issues. I remember I wasn’t proud of my writing skills, but they are the ones who are continually reposting it on their social media or in their blog as a sign of support.
And it did mean a lot to me.
The one who gives you a reality check once in a while
Do you still cling to your ex even though it’s been a year since the breakup? Or worse, do you still stalk him on Instagram? This is the time where you need this type of friend!
A friend who gives you a reminder when they see you are about to lose track. Sometimes they even give you destructive critics and tell the truth you don’t want to hear.
When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend in 2019, I relied on big time with this friend of mine who’s there for me to keep me in check. I knew I had to start working on myself instead of chasing back the ex.
The one who pushes you out of your comfort zone
We all need that person in our life who can push us, so we don’t get stuck in the comfort zone, even if it’s just one person.
I’ve struggled a lot in the past to find these types of friends just because they are so rare. I’m into this creative endeavor but surround by people who don’t make it hard sometimes.
So one thing that helped me find these people is by connecting with new people out there who have the same interest. I can promise you; there will always be someone out there who just “gets” you if you are willing to be open to receiving new friendships.
I’ve proved this many times in my life where I was so into Instagram photography and decided to connect with some photographers, and we are still friends and support each other until now.
So if you don’t have anyone around you who can push you out of your comfort zone, go out there and find them. It’s not that hard once you let them in into your space.
The one who humbles you
My mom taught me to stay humble no matter how much money I earn or how higher the title I got from my work. I came from a really small village somewhere in Indonesia, so I’m so lucky to be able to work from my laptop remotely while the majority of people work on the farm with a very minimum wage.
And in this case, my mom is that one friend who is never tired to remind me to be grateful because nothing will be enough for you if you keep looking up for something “more” or somebody who is “more” successful than you.
It’s an endless game, and you need one person in your life to remind you that whatever you have is enough.
This type of person will also help you acknowledge how far you’ve come. The truth is, life isn’t a competition, and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.
The one who you can have fun with
Lastly, you need to have some friends you can have fun with. Even if it’s just one person, it’ll make a difference in your friendship. It helps you to relax and enjoy life once in a while.
I literally have this one good friend where we talk about skincare routines and never anything serious. We schedule a catch-up call once per week to only talk about that — or any other unimportant stuff and just laugh about small things.
We like this idea that life has to be constantly moving forward and chasing big goals that we tend to forget about slowing down and just be present.
Because if you don’t have this type of friend, you can really take life too seriously and end up feeling exhausted mentally and emotionally.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn
The more I grow older, the more I realized it doesn’t matter how many friends you have; if they can’t bring the best version of you, give your life more purpose, and bring more joy, then they aren’t worth keeping.
I had that phase in my life where I chose to be alone than surrounded myself with toxic friends, and it was still the best thing I did to myself and my mental health.
So if you feel like your circle of friends doesn’t bring much positivity into your life, then it’s time to reevaluate your friendships.
People say making new friends as an adult is so freaking hard, but I can assure you it’s not as hard as you think it is.
And don’t worry, you still got time.