4 Signs It’s Time To Move On

There are many reasons for us to decide to let go of someone and, however hard it may be, we should never hold on to someone who does not appreciate us and reciprocates our affection.

But what are the signs? How are you supposed to know when it’s time to stop waiting on someone or something that might never arrive?

Talking to some friends who have been in this situation and of course having been in a similar position, I have identified 4 main signs that might help us understand it is time to let go of someone.

1. Your interactions leave you unsatisfied

Lack of communication or ineffective communication is always a good sign that something is not meant to last in the long term. When you hear communication is key in all relationships, that’s the plain and simple truth.

One of the main signs of knowing when to let go is if after any conversation you feel drained of your energy and overall unsatisfied with the answers you receive. If you feel like you are not able to ask all you want to ask and/or if you don’t get answers to your questions, that is not a sign of a healthy communication pattern.

2. You can’t express your feelings

If you are anything like me and wear your heart on your sleeve, then this is going to be one of the most important signs that it is time to let go of someone. Not being able to express your feelings freely to someone does show an overall imbalance in the relationship and by that, I also mean not being able to talk about your emotions in general, not just your feelings towards the person. You should not feel scared to “say too much” because, let me tell you, that is not healthy.

A friend told me she understood she could not see this person anymore when her mum got ill and she needed someone to talk to about how she was feeling and all he was doing was avoiding the conversation and saying “I’m not that good at talking about that kind of stuff.”

Run. If you ever hear something like this, run. Because this shows an absolute lack of emotional maturity and that is something the person needs to address in their own time and not at the expense of your energy.

3. You are always in limbo

We have all been there at some point; you feel like you should move on but you cannot because there is still something unsolved with that person. Trust me, nobody who is truly interested in you will want to risk losing you and if they are leaving you not knowing where you stand, that simply shows they do not care about you and your relationship enough to make things clear.. and if that is not a sign, I don’t know what is.

A former colleague was ranting over lunch once and mentioned how he knew he had to move on from this “situationship” but how the hope of it developing into something in the future would not allow him to move on with his life. My only suggestion at the time — and I still stand by it — was to be clear about his feelings with the person because that was the only way to get some clarity and resolution. As I said above, someone who has a vested interest in you will not leave wondering what you mean to them.

4. You are uncertain about the future

Things can always go sideways, that is a plain and simple truth, but you should be comfortable in thinking you are not wasting your time and you are actually working towards a common goal with someone. Be it in the short or in the medium term, you should know if that person sees you in their life as much as you see them in yours. Have they thought of the possibility of a future with you and what that may look like?

I think this is the most crucial point and it encompasses all the previous ones, in a way. You have to make sure you are on the same page about where the relationship is going. And the best way to ensure that is by actively and effectively communicating your feelings to the other person because we always need to remember that a relationship is made of two individuals coming together with a common goal.

I know there are probably many more signs that will show someone’s true intentions towards you but in my experience, these are the most important ones to look out for.

And I know it’s hard to decide to let go of someone, especially since you have probably put so much thought and energy into that person over time but just know that as much as it will hurt, it will free you of dead weight.

And you might tell me that some people are worth the wait, and that might be true, but I also think those people will not make you feel uncertain about the role you have in their life. You will never feel like a side character if you are waiting for the right person.

And finally, we have to be really considerate of how we invest our time. We always want to make sure we are investing and not wasting it because that is the only thing that never comes back. Like the Latins say “tempus fugit” (time flies), and we have to make sure we are making the best of it!

Alessia Denaro

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