Before I say anything further, I must be honest with you: it hurt. Yes, it hurt big time when I realised the situationship would never blossom into what I wished it could be. He was never going to feel for me the way I did for him. All I had was something ephemeral, a mere hint of a relationship.
I blamed myself initially. I replayed every moment we spent together, questioning what I did wrong that cost me a chance at something more tangible, something solid. Since we were never officially in a relationship, there was no break-up, no formal closure – just me nursing a broken heart amidst a sea of what-ifs.
It was challenging, incredibly so, but it’s true what they say about time being a healer. When we endure a situationship, it can feel like the end of the world. Yet, as time progresses and we reflect on our experiences, we begin to see things differently. We gain perspective and understand the truly important things in life. That’s exactly what happened to me.
After we ceased contact, I initially wished I had never met him, for all I felt was pain. However, over time, I began to appreciate that everything unfolded exactly as it should. I even found gratitude for the pain, for it taught me so much more.
I Experienced Feelings I Thought Were Lost.
Before this situationship, I doubted my capacity to love again, or to feel anything akin to it. I couldn’t fathom someone reigniting that spark in me, making me giggle over a text, or miss them the second they were gone.
Yet, I felt all of it – the butterflies, the intense emotions, even the tears. They were terrifying but also magnificent. Life seemed more vibrant, food tasted better, and every little aspect of life felt more lively. It was a reminder that love can happen, it will happen again, and something wonderful lies ahead if I’m patient.
The Good Times Were Truly Good.
Reflecting back, when our situationship was at its peak, it was genuinely enjoyable. We made each other laugh and shared fun moments. It would be foolish to discount the entire experience simply because it didn’t culminate in a traditional relationship.
Every moment mattered profoundly at the time it occurred. What’s important is that during those joyful times, we were genuine, living in the moment, escaping the monotony of everyday life. And that, in itself, was enough.
I Discovered My Inner Strength.
Our situationship was intense, and its end felt like plummeting into an abyss. But, astonishingly, I climbed out – and fabulously so.
Now, I’m more joyful and vivacious than ever. I take pride in knowing I have the incredible ability to piece myself back together independently and move forward to brighter prospects. This newfound self-reliance is invaluable, especially as a 20-something navigating the complexities of life.
Clarity on My Desires and Boundaries.
Initially, I thought I was at fault for the situationship not working out. But relationships are a two-way street, requiring both parties and the right timing. I did what felt right, and if there was any mistake, it was self-blame.
Rather than self-reproach, I should have focused on my needs and inner feelings. Now, I seek authenticity – no more situationships, no quasi-dating, no ambiguous connections. I understand that I deserve happiness, care, and respect. This journey has also helped me identify my deal breakers, turn-ons, and turn-offs.
So, I’m thankful for my situationship. It made me brave, allowing me to lower my guard, be vulnerable, and take a chance. It taught me about my own needs and preferences. And now, I’ll never regret not trying or wonder ‘what if’.